An Adventure - Part 2

After thinking about my situation for a few moments,  I thought myself  slightly uncovered. All of the heros of old I ever heard about wore splendid, shining armor. And most importantly perhaps, these armors covered their whole body. The mere fraction armor I currently possessed would not be suffisant to my future endeavors. So, I figured this might as well be my first quest... Get some protection on me.

I kept trudging the path leading me far away from my village, eager to accomplish my first real action as an hero, even as fickle as that one thing might have seemed. I did not want to be known as a barbarian, but as a mighty warrior! 

I, however, did not have time to mull over this any longer. Sounds were to be heard all around me. Not too much no, but enough to arouse suspicion. Branches were cracking left and right, and it was not as disorganized as the sounds animals would make. I put myself in what I thought was a rather fine exemple of a battle stance, and prepared myself for the attack. So obviously, I just had to trip over something.

Then, the attack came over me.

There was 4 of them. Bandits, lowly no life thieves of the road. It was rather odd to attack me however, since the only things I had brought with me was my shield, mace, and ridiculous armor. The thought vanished quickly from my mind though, as I lifted my shield to block a blow from one of them. Quickly, I pushed all of my weight forward on the shield to imbalance the bandit and stun him for a few instants. Then, I quickly spun around , mace extended, to hit another one of my enemies square on the temple, killing him instantly. In another fluid motion, I jabbed at the unprotected stomach of the nearest one, blowing the wind out of him, and then disarmed the last one. Keeping my eye on all of them, I attacked the one I had just disarmed, killing him in a few blows to his skull. I then turned my attention to the first one that had attacked me. However, that vicious scoundrel was nowhere to be found. The coward had abandonned the field of battle, leaving his other bandit commarades alone with me, two of them already dead at that. I slowly turned around to the thief I had knocked the breath out of, to see that he was only getting to his knees. Getting to him, I pulled him by the shirt and told him to leave this here place at once, or suffer the same fate I'd just put his friends into. He nodded, only once, and as soon as I had released him he fled for his life faster than I had seen anyone do before.

I was quite impressed with myself. My first actual real battle, and I managed to get out unscathed... And if the shine I just had caught with my eye was not mere illusion, I also had completed my first quest. One of the bandit I killed had chain mail.

Maybe that adventure didn't start so bad after all.

---

Whew, a chapter done. And to answer a question I know will be asked if I don't answer now, no, I didn't follow Hawks idea. Why? Because I know him. He's such a damn fine joker... So his ideas don't count. Because I once followed his ideas, I got killed. It never healed quite right too, so I never do what he says now. Neither should you. Also, comment to tell me what he should do! If it's supposed to be interactive, I need people to interact! And I know people are reading and not commenting. You can't hide from me... I'm watching you all. ALL THE TIME.

Comment! :D

An Adventure Awaits

So, as of today I have decided to do a little adventure game. How, you may ask? Well, it's quite simple really. I've drawn a character, and as such, created him, and I gave him a little background story. He's a 19 years old blacksmith apprentice, completly tired of life in his old, boring village. As such, he crafted himself a small armor, mace and shield and set off on adventure.

Now for the actual rules part of the game. All I ask you is to tell me where you think he should go, should he change weapons, do evil things or good ones... Choice is yours. I get your comments and then based on what you all want and what is the most popular I'll work it all into a nice little chapter. There might be promptings at time for drastic changes; like him learning magical arts or something, I don't know. You'll see them though, don't worry. With that, let's begin with a little introduction.

Alone at last, on the roads. My mace in my left hand, my only weapon against every foe that I may encounter in my path, to slay them outright. The small shield I made myself from a barrel and some scrap metal, in my right hand, protecting me against the blows that may vainquish me. Leaving the village of Lugzav was the best decision I could have made in my life; Same life would have been worthless if I had spent more time dawdling longer there. Blacksmithing perhaps would've been enough to pay the taxes to our lord, and I could have kept enough as an aside to feed the childrens I'd have been forced to have, but it is no life for me.

I, Nataniel, am forged to be a hero. A mighty warrior, vainquishing foes by a single blow to their meat, gaining the respect of kings ans queens all over the land... That's my life.

Except one thing; I have no idea where I should go at all.

This does not start my journey in a pleasant manner.

On Webcomics

Anybody knowing me in real life know that my love for webcomics borders on obsessive, although many would very well say that it is in fact obsessive. As such, I want to discuss about webcomics.

It is infact very probably that everyone of you read at least one webcomic, be it casually or avidly, as it is my case, and as such probably don't know the world surounding it as much as others that read a great quantity of them. Like somebody reading 52 of them, let's say.

It's fucking complicated, let me tell you.

Sure, you're probably all saying "Meh, all you need is a webpage and an idea and then voilà, there it is, a webcomic." True, but also very false. There's a lot of things to consider when doing your comic, and then even if everything as been watched under every angle possible and under a microscope, your comic might still get absolutly no bloody readers at all. Any popular webcomic artist out there ( well, any popular one that isn't a dipshit ) will tell you that they just wanted to start a webcomic and when they did, they got popular without even asking for it. Some will even say that there are far more talented individuals out there and that it should be their webcomic they should be reading. Most often they just had a website and an idea. And now, if you have an attention span slightly longer than a goldfish's, you might be noticing that I just contradicted myself by saying the exact opposite than in the beginning of this paragraph.

No, I didn't. You're stupid. Also, shut up.

While it's true that you might not have any preparation at all and get popular anyway, you'll get a lot of haters in the meantime. If you want to be more loved than hated in the long term, be prepared.

So if you're prepared, you'll probably know what type of webcomic you want to do. There is an incredible amount of comics, and if you want one about the daily lives of sheeps in a noir movie setting, there's probably one out there. As such, I won't bother to list them all here, since it'd  take something like... oh, a small 4 or 5 hours. Go search for whatever you want.

Now, let's take a look at the artists/writers behind the comics. They come in all kinds and sizes, be it small, large, stupid, intelligent, moron, depressed, overconfident, furry, members of a nazi group, and also the kind of total idiot that goes flashing his dick to 10 years old, that dumbass im-tay uckley-bay. Should you know Pig Latin you'll know who talking about in the previous sentence. Then you can burn him. A lot. 

So as you may have guessed from that previous paragraph, there are less than intelligent people in the webcomic world that still somehow manage to get popular. Depressed people do NOT count as less than intelligent though. As such, there is many, oh so many bad comics out there that the shear (yes, that is a word) amount of it in printed form could probably overshadow Mt. Everest. Okay, I'm exagerrating, but it's at least enough to fill a large crater. Learn to differentiate them, it's really easy. If the comic pretends to be humor and you can read the whole archive without so much as a chuckle, there is something wrong! Stop reading that webcomic. Remove it from your bookmarks. Why are you still reading it?

There, much better.

Now, I'll leave you with a nice list that will not increase the traffic of those comics at all because I have no readers. Enjoy.

Note that they're lesser known comics too.

Slackerz

Falloup

Blip

By Moon Alone

...Aaaaand I'll leave it at that.

I Can Has Fedora?

I'm making a quick random post to let you know that I have an awesome black and white Fedora to call my own. I shall wear it and feed it and bath it and love him so.

And with him I shall rule the world.

Don't panic, he told me in a dream, so it can only be totally true. And since I'm fair and all I'll let Barack Obama still rule the United States. He's doing a great job so far and it can only be said that he'll keep doing so.

Thou Shall Not Apologize.

No updates for quite a while? Well, no apology there. Yeah. Totally not in apology now.

Fuck.

It's all that abortion post. It made me think... I don't want to do an abortion post. Oh, I tried, mind you. But dammit, all that resulted was this.

Yeah, I did a stupid pro-life image. I'm not even pro-life, for that guy's sake. I'm pro-people-closing-their-legs-and-suck-it-up-unless-it's-rape-or-something. But that's long to say. And boring. It's much better to copy Maddox and saying your pro-killing-babies. Yeah.

Well, I'm glad I put that out of the way. Maybe I can update more often now.

Oh, Aren't I Just Spoiling You.

I know the 2 reviewers/commenters I have right now might think I'm awful for not updating daily like the name of the blog indicate should be the schedule for updates, but there are many reasons why I don't do that, and will never do. Don't believe me? Let me explain.

First and foremost, if I ever did update daily, I'd be creatively burnt out in less than a week and I'd probably consider faking my gruesome death involving a butter knife just so I don't have to do this anymore. Second reason is.... Well, I don't want to update daily. It's a good way to gain readers, sure, but I don't care much about that. Okay, it's not all true, but I want readers that like my writing style and the ideas I have to say, not readers that are obsessive stalkers who want to know every tidbit of my life, since I very much enjoy my privacy and generally not being watched while I sleep. I think it's a tad creepy that there's people who'd want to do that, hence my lengthy explanation.

Well, that's it for now I guess. Next update will probably be that abortion post I said I'd do 5 days ago or something.

Wow, I got Commented.

And it's a good thing too. I did what, 3 posts? One of them wasn't even a real post, just me being forced to upload a post before working on the site's layout.

But anyway, back to the comment. It asked for my opinion on more actual events, so I say let's go with the most recent ones. ( By definition an actual event is recent, so my phrase is completly redundant. )

So, there were shootings in Germany and the US that happened in the same day. They did quite a number of deaths, I'm not sure how many but that doesn't actually matter. What matters in this is that I still saw dozens of people attempting to blame this on videogames. Can't they let this go? It's all very annoying. If anything, it delayed the shooters' mass murdering party of the dumb jocks that went to high school with them. And because they're dumb jocks, they were obviously still in high school, and would have been for another 10 years. But back to the delaying, it makes more sense. I mean, if you shoot people in videogames, it helps relieve the frustration felt in real life. Hell, it's the reason why most people play videogames in the beginning, to get away from those things that annoy them in the real world. Beating up textures attached to a mesh isn't going to make you able to beat up people in real life either.

See, pressing up a button to attack somebody is very far away from swinging your fist at someone's face to either miss, or hit them and break your hand while breaking their nose. Pressing a button is also far away from being able to work out a real life gun. It's made to be less intuitive than real life because if not, most people wouldn't be able to play the game. They'd need an instruction manual for every single thing featured in it. Just in Fallout 3, you learn medecine by upgrading your stat everytime you gain a level. If you had to learn how to cure stuff for real, it'd be more useful to just drop the game and go get a degree in medecine so at least you'd get a real achievement, not one that gives you useless gamerpoints or trophies.

It's also the reason why people in movies slash their wrist the "wrong" way. Not that there is a good way to slash your wrist, since suicide is dumb, but it's to make it as far away from real life as possible. Because that's what videogames are all about.

A fantasy.

(I strayed kinda far away from my main point, but I'll get better. I will probably do another rant on my stances later today. I'm thinking abortion, to alienate more people. )